Handy Manny Cake Pan …

Keep up the good work!

It’s just the exact opinions I’m hearing from friends and fellow metallers.

’tis a shame, really. That reminds me, I really must get around to watching the 2nd season of Metalocalypse.

That’s where the divide is amongst metal fans; those who realize that their genre is a joke anyway, and those who don’t.

This Is Spinal Tap was a look at the 70/ 80s rock scene and Metalocalypse is more-or-less in the same vein. Dethklok’s world-dominating popularity in the show was exactly what metal needed to dissuade people thinking that all metal bands are worshiping Satan and bathing in the blood of a thousand virgins. Dethklok aren’t Satanists… they’re just pure fucking metal.

Unfortunately there is this immense divide amongst metal fans; On the one hand you’ve got folk like myself who can see the humorous and funny side to it, enjoying such references to other bands of the genre, seeing The Dethalbum as one to be bought and laughed at (just like Tenacious D’s self titled album), it’s just a bit of fun.

However on the other, you’ve got the uber-elitist metal-heads (I’m amongst them, however I don’t really share this idea when Dethklok are concerned), who see Dethklok as a silly gimmick, a mockery of metal who see The Dethalbum simply gaining so much popularity due to [Adult Swim], Guitar Hero II and so on, instead of gaining respect for talent.

Regardless, I enjoy ‘em. The Dethalbum is great and it’s a nice change to have something silly amongst oh-so-serious the Death/ Black Metal hoard.

Of course, with Dethklok’s album being the highest charing death metal album of all time, wouldn’t you have to say that there’s something about them which has either refreshed or destroyed the genre?

…I want a dancing gangster robot. >.<

You know, the thing that bugs me a lot about that whole crowd (okay, the 389th thing that bugs me a lot about them) is that these people don’t understand that yes, someone with “a science degree” DOES know more about science than someone without one. I mean… duh.

I’ll go on record right now in saying that I’ll throw $20 into the pot to get SeanBaby to beat Uwe Boll up.

If you don’t know about the time Seanbaby almost got to fight Uwe Boll, here it is, in his own words:

Uwe was going to promote his publicity stunt [boxing his critics] on G4’s Attack of the Show by boxing one of the hosts. Again, he’s a matchmaking genius, because everyone on TV is 3 feet tall. If you were watching Attack of the Show during the time I cohosted, you might have noticed that I could have leaned over and eaten host Kevin Pereira. A producer from the show remembered this and called me asking if I’d come on and fight Uwe. I train in Muay Thai and jujitsu, so I think boxing is to fighting what Hungry Hungry Hippos is to fighting, but—holy crap!—I couldn’t pass up getting my fist near the mouth that shouted “action” on the set of House of the Dead.

Uwe, learning that he wasn’t fighting a midget, asked for my age, height, weight, and fighting experience. I e-mailed this information, along with the reassurance that the Holocaust survivors got together and agreed he was the worst thing to come out of Germany. I figured this would make him mad enough to ignore that I’m several weight classes above him in F-List Celebrity Boxing. It didn’t. After reading my stats, he suddenly couldn’t make it on the show. There was a short discussion of flying me to the set of Postal, but I’m not holding my breath. Uwe is the one making the Nerd Combat rules, and rule No. 1 is: Uwe only hits people who don’t explode Uwe’s face when they hit back.

But as you (hopefully) know, Postal is a horrible game, however it’s the games horrible nature which makes it so much fun. Maybe Uwe’s terrible film-making techniques will emphasize this.

….however, most likely not. Like I said, it’s just a feeling.

$_ = s/kick/suck/g;

There we go… I’m sure it will actually SUCK ASS. Because, believe me… I still wake up at night, my stomach roiling with memories of the Dungeon Siege movie.